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5 YMCMB Signings That Would Truly Shock The World

Now I know, after Birdman signed Limp Bizkit and Christina Milian, artist that haven’t been relevant since well, a long time (I don’t even have a pun for you), it’s kind of hard to see who YMCMB could actually sign that would shake the foundations of everything we knew to be true about music, but after woadie tweeted this…

it left me to wonder “what if?!?!?!?!?”. With that being said, I took it upon myself to really think of 5 people that would make the world stand still if they were to become Young Money Cash Money Billionaires. Some of them are artist and some of them are…not

1.Kobe Bryant

Yeah, this album almost happened. Now Kobe has said on numerous occasions that Lil’ Wayne was his favorite rapper and Wayne made a song dedicated to Kobe Bryant song so creatively naming it “Kobe Bryant”. Can you imagine if The Lakers were to win the championship (and that’s a big IF! go Clippers and Chris Paul) that during the title ceremony Weezy stepped up onto the podium, knocked David Stern out the way and announced that he signed one of the greatest shooting guards of all time in Kobe Bryant. The next day the “Thug Poet” remix would drop featuring Lil Wayne, Ron Artest, Drake & Birdman. Kobe would add in a line about a certain someone who wasn’t shooting with him in the gym and Drake would just nod his head, Birdman would talk random trash in everyone’s direction with no regard, Ron Artest (excuse me, Metta World Peace) would blow kisses into the sky singing “We Are The World” and Wayne would make another toilet analogy. Kobe would end the track saying “You’re Welcome” while everyone throws their Kobe System’s in the air.

2.Peyton Manning
The entire NFL will have their eyes on the Indianapolis Colts this week because they have til Match 8th to pay Peyton Manning his contract option of 28 million before he becomes a free agent. The Redskins, Dolphins, Jets and more have shown interest in picking up the future Hall Of Famer. What if out of nowhere, Birdman snags Peyton from the grasp of the most powerful sporting league in the world and had him rocking a YMCMB chain. Of course Peyton would change his name to P-Mizzle and his football metaphors would be endless

“Y’all Dudes ain’t ill, I win Super Bowls for real”

You can’t tell me y’all wouldn’t cop that P-Mizzle album, how about his first single being a diss record to The Colts. He’d rap off the “Ether” beat with the chorus chanting “f*** Indy” and lets just throw Mark “Marky Mark” Wahlberg on there for good measure.

3.Dave Chappelle

If they find this dude they need to get get some type of Pulitzer Award. Now you got to think about it, dudes been in Africa, Istanbul and the flea market down the street from ole’ girls house for about 4 years now, what better way to come out of hiding than to sign Cash Money, it’ll make people across the world piss their pants and say, what in the hell?!?!?!? If they sign Chappelle, not only are they getting him but he’s multiple artist in one. You’ll get Ness and Dylan from The Band, you’ll get Prince, Rick James, Lil John and that deaf rapper from one of his bits. Who knows, maybe Tyron Biggums got some bars too

4.The Kid Who Shot Wheel Chair Jimmy In Degrassi

Hey, Drake has been settling the hatchet with all of his enemies these days…why not. The creepy gunman could release a song called “Who Shot Ya”. Come on, that was just too easy folks, too easy.

Now THIS, would be the ultimate stroke to the Hip-Hop community. Maybe all those random Weezy shots directed at Hov were just suppose to be a distraction so they could work on the most shocking rap signing since Jay signed Nas to Def Jam. Maybe Weezy will finally get that “How much you love you lady money” from Jay-Z he hinted at last year. Of course, if you sign Jay-Z you know you sign Kanye West, you have access to a random Beyonce hook at your leisure and a good and long Blue Ivy cry for dramatic effect. In all honestly tho, that s*** would be cray!

by Eskee: @LifeWithNeCee

1 Comment
  1. Chuck Taylors.

    March 5, 2012 9:56 pm

    This was brilliant, lol.

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